Resolutions

I haven't made any new year's resolutions in quite some time, but I hereby declare 2011 The Year of the New Me. Here are all of the amazing things that I will accomplish.

1. Extreme Thoughtfulness.
Believe it or not, I've been working really hard on the thoughtfulness front, and I do think I've made some progress. Unfortunately, I've gotten approximately twelve to the tenth times busier this year, so the net results haven't necessarily been that impressive. I can do better.

2. Writing.
Here and elsewhere.

3. Not Letting Work Bug The Crap Out Of Me.
Good luck with that, self!

4. Getting Rid Of This Mother Effing House.

5. Getting Hair Cut.
I know, I know, that's more of a to-do list item. I need one gimme on this list for encouragement, okay?

Okay.

Happy New Year, Intertubes. May you be gloriously unclogged in 2011.

Ho ho homicide

That's the title of a display that the Fiction department put up this month. I love the Fiction department's displays. They express my feelings perfectly. 
We weren't going to get a Christmas tree. Then there was a phone call in which my mom made it clear that not getting a tree for Soren's first Christmas was tantamount to child abuse. So, overwhelmed by guilt, I went to Safeway and got one of those little potted fir shrub things and decorated it within an inch of its life.



It ain't much, but it's ours.

"Thank you"

It seems to have stopped raining for the moment, both inside and outside our house.  So that's good news.  We just got this email from our home insurance company:

Dear Mr. Awesome,

I wanted to take a quick moment and "thank you" for taking time out of your day to speak with me. I realize that sustaining damage to your property can be unsettling. If there is anything that I can do to assist you further, please do not hesitate to respond to my e-mail or call me direct on my work phone.

Do you think our friend the insurance claims representative is being intentionally sarcastic?  Like, "Thanks A LOT bitchez, now I have to come all the way out to your stupid piece of crap house just to tell you that there is no way we're going to cover this damage.  I was enjoying a delicious crossandwich from BK and now my day is ruined."

**
**
From the Soren News Desk: He is fascinated by his new tooth.  He's constantly poking his tongue at it, making him look like a little lizard.  I guess if he were actually a lizard he would not be little, but would be an enormous eighteen pound lizard of terror.  In people terms though, still small.

Our roof is leaking.

Also the basement, but that happens pretty often in Seattle.  Our basement isn't finished, which normally is a drag but at least we don't have to worry about ruining our luxurious family room wall-to-wall carpeting or anything.

The roof thing is a problem though.  It's raining in our kitchen cupboards. Raining delicious water infused with lead paint and roof tiles.

You know what?  I'm just going to say it.  Our house is an asshole and I don't want to be friends with it anymore.

Meghan and me

You guys really shouldn't encourage me.  But since you asked . . .

People tend to get confused about whether to use "I" or "me" with a compound subject or object, like "Meghan and me" or "Meghan and I."*  It's really easy to figure out, though--just take Meghan out of your sentence and whichever sounds right, is right.  So, "Meghan and I went to the movies" (I went to the movies) but "The movie was too crowded for Meghan and me" (The movie was too crowded for me).  You'd never say "The movie was too crowded for I" because you'd sound like a crazy person.

See?  I'm the most annoying person on earth.  My grammar nut mom was my English teacher in middle school (oh god it was horrible, the stories I could tell you), and now I have to spend the rest of my life fretting over stuff like this.  It's amazing that I have friends.


*This is an quotation pulled straight from seventh grade.  I would begin sentences with "Meghan and me" just to show my mom that her grammar rules couldn't hold me.  I was a tween rebel. 

lists

Words/grammar issues I'm trying not to be annoyed by anymore, because being annoyed by them makes me annoying:

1.  "Hubby."
2.  "Literally," when there is no way what the speaker is saying could be understood in a figurative sense.
3.  "I" used improperly in place of "me," as in "The gift is from my husband and I."
4.  Most of the abbreviations used by mommy bloggers, commenters, etc. (CM for cervical mucus?  Really?  You're typing that so many times you need an abbreviation?  Okay, sorry--I guess I'm missing the point here.)

Words I want to phase out:
1. Awesome.
2. Rad.
3. Like.
4. Totally.
5.  All other late-1980's Valley girl speak.

Words I want to phase in:

1.  Swimmingly.  (As in, "It's going . . . ")
2.  Splendid.
3.  Most of these.

Teeth!

Well, tooth actually, but still: The Mystery of The Night of Continuous Screaming has now been solved.  One little north-facing tooth is poking out of Soren's gums.  I feel bad that we didn't spot the kid some Tylenol that night, but sometimes when it's 3 a.m. and there is constant screaming it's hard to strategize the best course of action.

On Friday night we went to the Garden of D'Lights (yes, it's really called that) at the Bellevue Botantical Gardens.  And took some blurry photos!  Which I will now share with you, you lucky creature!





And okay, one unblurry one:


Are you now filled with the spirit of the holiday season?  I should hope so. 

No teeth

Being at work is not much fun these days. Many of my most beloved coworkers are losing their jobs or being demoted due to budget cuts. Other people are being switched into jobs completely different from their own, in other parts of the city, with different areas of expertise--and of course they feel terrible guilt for (involuntarily) displacing their colleagues. It's all pretty f'ing horrible, if you want to know the truth.

And on the homefront, Soren was pretty much awake and screaming all night last night. He's been sick, so maybe that was the problem. Maybe he's teething. I have no idea. We've been blaming everything on teething since he was three months old and guess what? No teeth.

Starting tomorrow I have three days off in a row, and on Saturday, praise be, Mr. A. and I will have the day off together. The sun is even supposed to come out that day. Maybe by then Soren and I can get it together and, more importantly, get some freaking nap time.