Slightly offensive

We were Rosemary and Roman for Halloween this year. We're sort of a conceptual (not to mention slightly offensive) pair in that one of us is a fictional devil rape victim from the 60's, and the other is an actual rapist of the 1970's, styled as a jailbird of the future.

Those are quaaludes I'm being offered. Note the fear in the eyes.

Miniature pirates

I worked today and my floor was taken over by a children's pirate band and their fans--hundreds of miniature pirates. The smallest pirate could not have been more than 30 inches long. It was all pretty adorable, and a lot more entertaining than the regular business of being a librarian.

Happy Halloween little bebes. I hope you're doing something incredibly spooky.

I just came from the midwife. Everything is going along swimmingly with the baby, my blood pressure is good, blah blah blah. We are all agreed that I need to eat more protein. I'm also supposed to eat three servings of dairy every day, which is awesome. I've always feared that I eat way too much dairy, but now I have orders from a medical profssional to cram tons of yogurt and cheese down my piehole. Hooray!

After my appointment this morning I took myself out to a two egg breakfast with bacon and a couple of giant pancakes. Maybe not precisely what my midwife had in mind, but undeniably protein-rich. Also syrup-rich. I'm pretty sure I gained a pound just from that meal.

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Really, really bad day at work. I don't think the library loves me anymore.

The only thing separating me from that bright future

Can you believe we have to go to work every single DAY? What a load of crap. I used to think that if I won the lottery I'd be one of those lottery-winning a-holes who still goes to work--just part time, of course, because I'm so devoted to my craft--but now I realize that I was what is known as a LIAR. If I won the lottery I would sit on the couch all day and watch Felicity on DVD.* The only thing separating me from that bright future is the fact that I have never bought a lottery ticket in my life.

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I just broke up with Comcast, and it felt good. Stupid Comcast, trying to make me install yet another box just so that I can watch the tv I already pay for. I hate them. Now Mr. A and I are going to become the cool people who watch all of our tv on the intertubes. Suck it, Comcast.

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I need new music, and I'm taking suggestions. What are the kids listening to these days? Any ideas for good fall/winter musics? I need some horizon-expanding.



*Noel or Ben, people? That is the burning question coming at you from 1999. I'm 100% Noel all the way. I'm in season 2 now and Ben is starting to seem like somewhat less of a doucher than previously, but he's still not un-douchey enough to woo me away from Noel.

That girl's all right with me

You know what's awesome about Rick James' "Super Freak"? The girl's really not a super freak. I'm mean, she's waiting for him with incense, wine, and candles. Not exactly a freaky scene, unless you have very severe allergies.

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I think I've turned a corner in terms of worrying about the baby. Not to say I won't worry at all anymore--why give up something I'm good at, especially when I work in a swine flu soup?--but I think I'm past the dedicated worrying that I had been doing.

Have I told you how convinced I am that the baby is a girl? I'm dead certain. My mom says that my certainty is scientific proof it's a boy. I would be delighted to find out it's a boy--just as delighted as with a girl--but I would also be completely shocked. I'm getting nonstop girl vibes.

Anyway, we'll find out for sure next month. The whole finding out the sex thing is funny--I've talked to several women who said that they wouldn't have been able to get through labor without the surprise of finding out whether the baby is a boy or a girl. Maybe I'm crazy, but it seems likely that the baby will still be of interest to me, even if I already have that information. Don't get me wrong; I think it's cool when people wait to find out. But I HATE waiting. Just waiting five more months to have this baby seems like an impossible task sometimes.

Timjim's first mail

Mr. A emailed me yesterday morning to ask if we should subscribe to Parenting: The Early Years magazine, since it was being offered for free for some reason. We pondered whether it was worth while, since we'll probably end up on a million horrible mailing lists. This is probably also the first step towards turning into the kind of people nobody wants to be around because they start conversations with, "Just the other day, I was reading a fascinating article in Parenting . . ."

Anyway, we subscribed under the name Timjim Mr.A'sLastNameMyLastName. Timjim is so lucky to have thoughtful parents like us.

To be honest with you

So, I haven't gained any weight yet, and over the past few days it's started to worry me. Most women don't gain weight during the first trimester, but I'm a couple of weeks into the second trimester now, and I should have at least a couple of pounds to show for it. I called my midwife, and she said I probably am not getting enough protein. Sigh.

I feel like a failure for not getting the baby what it needs. I also feel at a little bit of a loss as to how to eat all the crap I'm supposed to eat. Yes, okay, I could cut back on the chocolate.* But still, every day I'm supposed to eat, like, 17 servings of fruit and 22 vegetables and a giant pile of grains and make sure I get a ton of calcium and iron and fiber and to be honest with you, I'm hungry, but I'm not THAT hungry.

Okay, I'm going to go find an unsuspecting animal to eat. Later, internets.



*But I NEED IT.