Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Enjoying each day more and more

You know what's weird? Like SIX girls I went to college with are now ministers. Real ones, with the collar and everything. My liberal arts college was sort of loosely associated with the Presbyterian church, but I didn't actually know anyone who went to church at the time. It was a normal college, with drinking and stuff. What, I ask you, is the deal?

Anyway, these women are somehow now my Fasebook friends. A couple of sample status updates: "Minister Lady is struggling with hymns for Epiphany. Is it just me, or are a lot of them really bad?" or "Other Minister Lady is enjoying each day more and more at the new church."

My status updates are like: "Soggy Librarian just punched a library patron in the eyeball" or "Soggy Librarian is drunk at work--AGAIN!!1"* It's fun getting back in touch.

Happy new year, sinners.

*Not really. My boss is also my FB friend.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Truly an amazing supergroup

'Sup, internets! Long time no chats. I hope you had a nice holiday.

As you may know, I got my wish for a blizzard in Seattle--the city pretty much shut down for over a week. Sorry about that, Seattlites! Next time I'll also wish for some snow plows. I have to admit that I enjoyed the snow the whole time, but it's true that what we've been left with the past couple of days--big piles of sandy slush--is not as magical.

It also blizzarded in Utah, where we were visiting Mr. A's family. Specifically, it began blizzarding just as we were boarding our flight back to Seattle on Christmas night. So we ended up spending 3+ hours on the tarmac, waiting for the runway to be cleared and for our plane to be de-iced. There was no air conditioning, and from what I could tell, no air, period--I have never been in such a hot, oxygen-poor environment in my life. We sat there, watching it snow and sweating our asses off. LITERALLY!! I am now ass-less.*

Anyway, I know everyone has suck-o plane stories, and you probably have one that is way worse than this one, but I am telling you this story because I learned something interesting from this experience: the point at which I start yelling at strangers. And it involves Roy Orbison.

We had been sweating it up in the tin can for at least 2.5 hours when a guy behind me started singing. He sang each and every word of "Handle Me With Care," beginning to end, in a high falsetto. Then he started pontificating to his girlfriend. "The Traveling Wilburys--truly an amazing supergroup. Tom Petty. Roy Orbison. Bob Dylan. Incredible song-writing. Indeed, this was one of Roy Orbison's final recordings."**

AND THEN. He started up again, from the top: "Ev-ree-BAH-dee. Needs sum-BAH-dee. To LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN on."

At that point I turned around and smushed my face into the crack between my seat and the seat next to me so as to be able to make eye contact and said (hissed), "Listen. I don't mean to be rude but we've been here a while and it is VERY HOT and I REALLY DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TAKE ANY MORE SINGING OKAY?!? GREAT!!"

The guy obviously could see the crazy in my eyes because he said, "I'm shutting up now." And he did.

And that is how I spread Christmas cheer by preventing others from singing loud for all to hear!

*Sadly, not true.
**Okay, maybe he didn't really say "indeed." But he was definitely using an "indeed" voice.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

We may have to rumble for them

Okay, that wasn't much of a post, and I did promise you a REAL post today, so here is another one. And guess what? It is about your favorite topic! That's right, the weather!

The weather, my friends, is cold. Perhaps not Denmark cold, but we haven't been above freezing for quite some time and aren't expected to anytime soon, and Seattle CANNOT BELIEVE IT. I'm actually enjoying it. I think my big problem with Seattle weather is that when it's cold, it's not quite cold enough, so I think I can still dress fashionably in tights and whatnot, and end up pissed off with blue fingers and toes. But once it dips comfortably below 25 I put on my big puffy coat and hat with a pom pom on it and am perfectly toasty.

And tomorrow: More snow!! I'm so dorkily interested in the snow that I read this almost minute-by-minute forecast for the next couple of days in its entirety.

The bummer, though, is that even though Seattle's snow-coping arsenal includes about three bags of sand, I'll probably still have to come to work. Even though the buses won't run properly, and I'll probably get stuck downtown and have to live for weeks off the snacks we save for the volunteers. I'm worried that other departments know about those snacks and we may have to rumble for them once everyone's eaten all the unlabeled yogurts in their department refrigerators. And I'll tell you what: those art librarians may be older on average, but they are tough as nails.

Edited to add: I just realized that I used the phrase "my friends" in this post. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to give you McCain flashbacks.

Like a pro!

Currently I am gnawing a peppermint stick as if a bone. Luckily my cube-mate is away, so no one suffers.

Yesterday I went to the post office to mail some packages and I don't want to shock you, but that place was busy! Yowza! Most of the people in line were waiting to talk to actual humans, though, so I got in the shorter line to use the package-sending machine. Still, there were definitely a bunch of people waiting on me, so I tried to mail my packages as quickly as I could. I could feel all the eyes on my back, willing me to hurry the hell up already.

When I stamped the last package, the guy behind me patted me on the shoulder and said, "I just want you to know, you did a really amazing job with that. You handled that machine like a pro!"

Monday, December 15, 2008

What makes blogging great

This post is just to get that nasty cranky one off the top of the page. I've actually been quite filled with holiday good cheer the past few days. (Don't you love this minute-by-minute breakdown of my moods? It's what makes blogging great!) For one thing, it snowed, which I never get tired of. Well, at least not yet. Being from Alabama makes every snow day seem magical.

Real post tomorrow. In the meantime: Do you think I'm a jerk for basically giving my brother nothing but a gift to charity in his name for Christmas? I've been feeling kind of bad about it. But then I remember that he left everything I gave him last year in a big heap on the floor and told my mom to throw it away for him, and the guilt subsides.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


The coffee cart in the library is inexplicably closed today. Et tu, coffee cart?


I had a bad week at work last week--like, Worst Week Ever--and I haven't quite been able to shake the bad mood it's left me in. I haven't been sleeping well because I'm too busy lying awake in bed, thinking about pinching people very hard.

You guys, I'm too young to burn out on this job! We have a mortgage and a lot of student debt to pay off, and I have very few marketable skills. Do you think I could be a freelance/telecommuting Talk To Teenagers About Books Person?

Sigh. Me neither.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Case of What is That Bodily Fluid

I spent most of yesterday thrifting, and one of my purchases was an old man hat. Specifically, it is one of those tweed hats that an older British gentleman or perhaps Columbo might wear.

I fell in love with this hat, and wore it all day yesterday despite the fact that it smells strongly of moth balls. I feel it gives me a certain air of dignity, in the manner of a noir detective.

When I picked Mr. Awesome up at work he complimented me on it right away. I asked him if he thought the hat would give me the power to solve mysteries.

"Absolutely. Library mysteries!"

"Too bad there are already about ten different book series about librarians solving mysteries."

"Yeah. But you could solve REAL library mysteries. Like, 'The Mystery of What is That Guy's Problem?'"

"Totally! Or, 'The Case of What is that Bodily Fluid, and How Did It Get There?'"


Thursday, December 4, 2008

Pop Culture Breakdown

Thank you all so much for your brilliant swearing and faux-swearing suggestions. My horizons have truly expanded.

I'm embarrassed to say that I missed the first airing of Moonlight and Mistletoe, being out in the woods with no tv. But don't worry, I'm tuned in to the Hallmark Channel 24/7 until it comes on again. I'm inspired by you brave souls who toughed it out. By the way, did anyone catch The Christmas Wish on Lifetime, starring Neil Patrick Harris, Debbie Reynolds and Naomi Watts? Wow.

While we're on the subject, let's do a little . . .

Pop Culture Breakdown

1. Twilight: The Major Motion Picture

Did you notice that montage where, after Edward and Bella fly/climb up to the top of some insanely high trees over a cliff and sway in the breeze as the camera swirls around them to dramatic effect, and then---they are suddenly in a smoky piano bar where Edward is playing the piano as Bella rests her head worshipfully on his shoulder?

I mean, what exactly is she supposed to be thinking in that moment? "Oh Edward, that flying thing you do is pretty cool but THE WAY YOU TICKLE THE IVORIES! It just GETS me! Play me another one, you devil you!"

That scene alone was completely worth the price of admission. Mr. Awesome and I had tears rolling down our faces, we were laughing so hard.

2. The Amazing Race: The Season With No One to Root For

How about those frat boys? Are they the chumpiest chuckleheads you've ever seen, or what? HOW ARE THEY STILL IN THIS RACE?! Lort i lagkage, I hate them so.

3. Jon & Kate + 8 = HELL ON EARTH

Is it me, or are these people just completely horrible? I watch them with a sort of fascinated despair.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Peer pressure

Colds are stupid, are they not? Stupid and annoying. I'm glad we can agree.

On a happier note, I had a lovely Thanksgiving holiday in the woods, thank you for asking! Here is a nice blurry picture of a hike that we went on.

From Packwood, Thanksgiving 2008

Here is me making an angry face. Nature makes me so agro!

From Packwood, Thanksgiving 2008

Here is Mr. Awesome, sketching the pretty river.

From Packwood, Thanksgiving 2008

Here is me doing a shot at the local bar. How did I end up doing a shot at the local bar? PEER PRESSURE. Peer pressure is a dangerous thing, my friends. Resist!

From Packwood, Thanksgiving 2008

Sometimes our crappy camera doesn't open its shutter all the way, but it always seems to capture the most important part. These are our friends who actually own the cabin. Aren't they cute?

From Packwood, Thanksgiving 2008