Sunday, January 25, 2009

Your Customer Service Ain't No Service At All

I still don't have a phone, and it's turning me into a terrible person. Not because I'm out of touch with the world (although there is that), but because I am filled with a deep and abiding hatred for T-Mobile. The corporation has now lost all record of my existence, and at this point the most I can hope for when I call them is to ruin somebody's day.

However, speaking of T-Mobile, the super awesome audio I wanted to share with you is now available. Mr. A. ordered a revenge rap for me, from Rap Master Maurice, and it's one of the best presents I've ever received. You can now listen to it on Maurice's website! (If that link doesn't work, go here and click on "Your Customer Service Ain't No Service At All," at the bottom of the revenge raps.)

If you happen to be in the market for revenge, I heartily recommend Rap Master Maurice. His raps are currently only seven bucks and he delivers within two days. You really get a lot for your money.


Last night, we went to a fancy cocktail party for Mr. A.'s work, and I had to meet new people while wearing high heels. It was a challenge, but I think I did okay. His work people were intimidatingly cool, though. Hip haircuts and glasses and stuff. I was glad I let Sarah give me long straight bangs the other day so that I looked (I thought) ever so slightly more hip than before.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a nasty sore throat, and I took a lot of advil but I still don't feel that great. Is that the most interesting story you've heard all day? I could start talking about the phone again if you prefer.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Junior master

I have something really awesome to share with you guys, but I can't figure out how to upload audio to my blog. Am I dumb, or is it really hard? Actually, I suppose those are not mutually exclusive categories.

Did you get to watch the inauguration? I did. They opened up the library early for the public to come in and watch it on the big movie screen in our auditorium, and it was completely awesome. The place was packed, and we were a very rowdy crowd--lots of cheering, singing, standing ovations. One of the biggest cheer lines was when Obama said "We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers." The "nonbelievers" part went over huge here. Ah, Seattle--nothing but heathens. Well, heathens and Mars Hill Church members.

Speaking of sports,* I've almost learned to snowboard! Properly, I mean. I've done it about 10 times but I usually just do it the baby way--riding my back edge, if you know and care about such things. But now I almost have the swoosh, swoosh method of real snowboarding down. This is a big deal for me as I have never really mastered a sport. Well, unless you count cornhole. But even there I'm more of a junior master.

*I know, I know, we weren't really speaking of sports. You try to come up with a connection between Mars Hill and snowboarding.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Thumbs down, T-Mobile.

Still no phone. No prospect of getting one before late next week.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Terms of nerdiness

Guess what? It looks like Mr. A and I are going to get to go to the American Library Association conference this summer in Chicago! Awesome, no? I haven't gotten to go to very many librarian conferences--only a couple of dinkier local ones--but I LOVE them. In terms of nerdiness they are only a short step below Star Trek conventions. And they're all about books and stuff! Delightful.

Of course, the truly magical part is that Mr. A. and I both got permission from our workplaces* to get paid workdays to geek out and explore Chicago. I've only been there a couple of times but I think Chicago is pretty awesome. The lake! The river! Da Bears!

Anyway, if one of my two readers happens to be a Chicago expert with lots of tips to offer, please do leave some in the comments. Thanks dudes.**

*He's an art librarian at a university around here, in case you didn't know.
**Are you impressed that I made it through this entire post without saying Shy-town or Oprah? Me too.

Top Five Recent Thoughts

Oh, blog. Bloggity blog blog. I know I haven't been around much lately, but it's only because I haven't had any interesting thoughts to share.

Here, for instance, are my Top Five Recent Thoughts:

1. I'm cold.
2. I'm wet.
3. I don't want to go to work.
4. Ow, my arm.
5. This skirt itches.

So see? You're not missing much.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Bad music or perky suggestions

On December 27th, Mr. A and I ordered new cell phones online. We switched from @t&t to T-M0bile, having been told that the T-M peeps have the best customer service around.

Well. All I can say is that if T-M is as good as the customer service gets, we are all royally screwed. I'm going back to the tin can and string model.

I don't want to bore you with the whole long story of bureacratic wrangling and ineptitude. Basically, between T-M and the United P@rcel Service (another huge bastion of rude chuckleheads, it seems) we've spent about 7 hours on the phone*, mostly on hold listening to either bad music or perky suggestions that we try the website for a speedy solution to our problem.

All of this would have been more or less okay, except that T-M cut off our old phones the day we placed the order.

Mr. A's phone finally arrived the day before yesterday. As far as I can tell, I am no closer to getting a phone that I was when we started. Farther, probably, because at this point the whole thing is so effed that T-M0bile has no idea whether they even mailed me a phone or not.

So anyway, if you're trying to reach me, you can't and probably never will again. Sorry I haven't returned your calls. Try the comments field here on the blog for best results.

Oh wait--I made a new year's resolution to stop complaining. It's going really well, don't you think? Sigh. At least I'm exercising.

On a brighter note, the big festival thing I'm organizing for my work is going well. We had the first event last night and a ton of people came, despite nearly apocalyptic pouring rain and 45 mph winds. So that's good.

*Mostly at work, because you know. We don't have any PHONES.

Friday, January 2, 2009

The sarcastic slow claps of my fellow gym members

Happy new year! Oh, I said that already, didn't I? I must say, I love wishing people a happy new year. You don't have to worry that the person you are greeting doesn't celebrate it and will be offended. Everyone is stuck with the Roman calendar.* Not like that other holiday. Damn you, War on Christmas! O'Reilly is right, everyone should just celebrate Jesus' birth and learn to love it so that I will have an easier time with my salutations for a couple of weeks each year.

Guess what I did today? I worked out! At the GYM. I can tell you are not impressed but you should be. You see, I have never joined a gym, and I've only worked out about three times in my entire life.** I used to sort of scorn the gym. Why would you run on a treadmill, I would sneer, when there is perfectly good sidewalk to run on? Or ride a stationary bike, when you could ride a bike that will GO somewhere?

But let's face it--I was being kind of a poophead when I sneered these things. Because really, that attitude is all very well in the summer, but in the winter (especially a winter such as we have had so far, with the snowing and the freezing) you can't be outside very long before all of your appendages just fall right off.

The truth is (and it pains me to admit this), my gym-directed scorn was merely a sad self-defense mechanism intended to hide my many gym-related phobias. They ranged from your standard-but-insane "I'm not in good enough shape to go to the gym"-type phobias right up to phobias about not understanding how to use the machines and somehow pulling a lever that either caused the machine to explode, thus killing me or (worse) caused me to fall spectacularly off the back of the machine, landing with a crash in a cloud of smoke, probably to the sarcastic slow claps of my fellow gym members, and thereafter leaving me unable to show my face in a gym--ANY gym--ever again.

But now, suddenly, I have overcome these gym fears and I am ALL ABOUT IT. I want to be the buffest, baddest librarian in town. I want to be able to pick Mr. Awesome up over my head and throw him twenty yards. How long will this mania for buffness last, you ask? Probably not too long, if past history is any indicator. But at least now I know how the machines work.

*Yeah, I know, the Chinese New Year is later and whatever but I think my point still stands.
**In a gym, I mean. I've exercised, duh. Don't look at me like that.