I recently became engaged to a very nice man, which is awesome. Do you know what is not quite so awesome, however? The word "fiance." I generally refuse to say it. But someone almost always pipes in, "Hey, he's not your boyfriend anymore! He's your FIANCE!!!"
There is no escape.
I'm not sure exactly what it is about that word that drives me so nuts. Maybe it's just the poser Frenchiness of it--"Oh pardonez-moi, ma cher, but have you met my fiance?" Gack.
But it's not like my other options are much better. "Boyfriend," which is my standard term, sort of conjures up images of seventh grade and going with someone, whereas "partner" (which I also sometimes throw in for kicks) makes me feel like I have now found someone with whom to run my law firm. And "lover"--gross, let's pretend we never even brought it up.
Hence, my quandry. Anybody out there got a favorite term-to-use-when-speaking-to-others-about-one's-very-special-lady/man-friend? In a few months I can go with "husband," I suppose, but even that one I'm not 100% sold on.
Probably I should get a reader or two first, then start asking the questions. So backwards I am.
10 comments:
I will be your first commenter! Congratulations (I KNEW something was up when you were looking for caterers on Facebook). I also think the word fiance is lame, as are most monikers for the person you are doing it with. I've always been a big fan of just using the name. If all else fails, I call Sky my dude. But you have to say "dude" with a lot of conviction.
RDG, is that you? If so, I am clapping my hands and saying HELL YEAH! I've missed your writing.
As for the what-to-call-the-fiance quandry, I have always, pre and post marriage, just referred to my husband as Sean. This has, in fact, confused some people ("Oh, he's your husband?") but I hate being introduced as his "wife", so...I dunno.
Thanks for sharing the new digs, it looks great! As for the fiance issue, I've found that "other" works well for before the wedding and "shithook" for after. Katherine (life-my-way from diaryland.com)
i know i am, like, 20 years late on this one and it reveals my slightly juvenile nature, but every time i hear someone say "beyonce" instead of "fiance" i giggle just a little bit.
oh, and hi!
Fiance is terrible, but husband also took a long time to get used to -- it feels like you've suddenly aged about 5o years just to use the word. Weird. And hi!
fiance is horrible. i don't think i used it once. husband is still something i can't get used too...i still call mine my boyfriend from time to time because it's more engrained i think. but hey, congratulations!
welcome to bl0gger & congratulations on your engagement! wow, i used to read you way back when, at your old site. i actually do still update over there some, but last year, i staked out a space here in case i ever decide take the plunge and migrate completely. oh, and the word "fiance" can sound a little...pretentious and artificial. i vote to just use 1st names.
Good suggestions, all. Usually I can get away with just calling him First Name, but I do occasionally mention him to people who don't know who he is. Work people, mostly.
But maybe the solution is that if they don't know me well enough to know who R is, then maybe I can just skip mentioning him around them.
i am with Jen. I have resorted to saying "my dude."
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