Friday, July 11, 2008

Vomit, Then Pummel Them to Death

So, I have this giant box of notes from high school. You know, the ones you passed off between 2nd and 3rd period? I kept them all, and they are pretty awesome. I feel sorry for the kids today with their texting. Where will those texts be when they are old like me? Nowhere, is where. Plus, who would want them?

I went through my notes a few years ago and culled some (mostly the ones I wrote but never delivered--doing away with the evidence!), but I still have the cream of the crop. and I dug a few of them out of the basement the other day.

Many of these are love letters from my early romances. Here, for instance, is an excerpt from a note written to me by my first real boyfriend, Punk Rock Matt.*

"I really really like that new Jawbox video. The first time I saw it I didn't really care either way. But Now I can't get it out of my head.

Holy Cow I'm in art now and Chris Just gave me that Blindside record he ordered for me. I can't wait to give it a spin. I just walked to my locker and one of those f*ing** rent a cops told me not to wear my Melvins shirt tomorrow because of what it said across the back. So then I told her that I didn't know about her but I don't wear the same shirt 2 days in a row. She told me she didn't need the sarcasm or she would write me up. Stupid f*ing b*tch!"


Here's one from Dave, my next boyfriend:

"I'm in French. The entire class should be destroyed. Not really, some can live. The problem is here---> [Dave includes a diagram of the classroom desks, with a circle around the problem area]. An atomic bomb should be dropped on these fools.

I wonder what I would do if someone asked to sign my yearbook. I'd probably vomit, then pummel them to death."

Ah, romance.

*He still goes by this moniker, and is as punk rock as ever, by the way.
**Why am I all coy about the swearing all of a sudden? I have no idea.


Librarian Girl said...

Those are awesome. Makes me want to look back on some of my old notes too.

Love the teen anger. So romantic.

librarianista said...

What's interesting to me is that if a kid were discovered writing either these notes now, he would certainly be suspended and subjected to psychological evaluation, if not expelled and arrested. But poor Dave wasn't actually going to drop an atomic bomb on anyone. He just didn't care for his French class.