The Smocking Conspiracy

The Big Day Off was excellent. I accomplished most of the items on my list, except getting a pedicure. Sorry, feets.

I got up, wrote a few thank-you notes (nope, still not finished) and then rode my bike downtown. Riding downtown from our house isn't exactly the Tour de France, but it's over six miles. That's pretty good, right? Right? I'm going to try riding to work tomorrow and see how it goes.

Anyway, I got my massage (mmmmmm), and tried to shop for a dress to wear to my brother's wedding. I've looked EVERYWHERE, and at this point I am kind of at a loss. I think my only problem with this year's fashions is that they are FREAKING HIDEOUS. And the stuff that isn't hideous? Is just not flattering.

Whither all these babydoll dresses, designers? I'm not knocked up! Can't I just get a waistline somewhere in the remote vicinity of my actual waist? The worst trend right now is that dress where the waistline is at the collarbone. What IS that? Who looks good in one of those? Even the Anthropologie models look deeply bummed about what they are forced to wear these days.

I also can't help but notice that there is a lot of smocking on the market right now. Has our youth-obsessed culture really gone so far as to convince us to dress up like chubby 8-month-old babies? I am a grown ass lady and I'd like a grown up dress, please.

Thanks.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, so I didn't buy a dress. But I did meet up with Mr. Awesome when he got off work, and we went to a restaurant where a friend of ours tends bar and he gave us free stuff. Then dinner with our friends A & P, and the SALON OF SHAME!

The SOS was pretty funny, but also full of pathos. As someone who works with teens every day, it was a poignant reminder of how life-or-death everything seems at that age. We wonder why the kids are moody, but it's just because the universe is always either ending or magically aligning for the good.

I did find some old high school notes of mine, and I'll transcribe one for your enjoyment in the very near future.