ENERGY! ENERGY! ENERGY!

This morning in the children's room I was helping a woman find books when she turned to me and said, "I just didn't expect that there would be so many children here at this time of day."

Really?  At 11 a.m. on a Monday?  Because most three-year-olds should have jobs, presumably.

**
**

We saw The Hunger Games last night and I was so amped up afterwards that I couldn't sleep.  (I liked it, by the way.  Lenny Kravitz was surprisingly good and not annoying. Woody Harrelson was unsurprisingly annoying and not good, but I was able to ignore him and his equally annoying hair.)  I tried to use Jane Austen to lull me to sleep via the tranquil English countryside, but it didn't work.  Which is too bad because I'm teaching my first class tonight.  Right before class, I may have to employ a trick I learned about on a podcast I listen to:  running around in circles yelling "ENERGY! ENERGY! ENERGY!" followed by a shot of tequila.

Or, you know.  Just the tequila.*


*I'm just kidding, I would never do a tequila shot right before a class; the students would probably smell it on me.  For professional situations, vodka shots are the only way to go.

So long stupidface

R and I got some really good financial news today.  Not winning the lottery or anything (I still haven't ever bought a ticket--I'm convinced that's the only thing holding me back from massive wealth).  Basically, we thought were going to have to pay a bunch of money for our old house, and we don't.  The bank lied to us, turns out.  I know I'm an adult and I should realize that people lie and institutions especially lie, but it still surprises me.  "The truth ain't in 'em," as my father would say.

But anyway, the point is, we are really, completely, totally broken up with that stupidface old house.  Good riddance, house.  Suck it.

And!  The new family-friendly pub/brewery is FINALLY opening in our neighborhood!  I realize for most people this would be an "oh that's nice situation," but when you live in a semi-struggling neighborhood like ours, it's huge news.  Who wants to come hang out with us there? 

And!  It's sunny, I'm off this weekend, and I'm going to a football match* my sister-in-law, who is also my close friends.  How many people are as lucky as I am?  Not too many.


*I believe you Americans refer to it as "soccer."

Grown up job stuff

So internet, did I tell you I'm teaching a class this spring?  True story.  At the university's library school.  Co-teaching, actually, starting Monday.  I am not exaggerating when I say that the hiring process at Chuck E. Cheese was more rigorous than the one for this job. The library school hired me on the strength of my friend's recommendation, a hastily thrown-together resume, and blind faith.  (Presumably they also remembered what a shining star of the program I was as a student.  I set that place on fire with my book talks, ya'll.)

Still, I'm excited.  This opportunity combines a couple of my favorite things: teaching and money.  (And young adult books, which is what we'll be teaching.)  It's been many years since I graded any papers, so I have a little bit of anxiety about that.  As I recall, the rule in library school is that everyone gets an A unless you completely fail to show up.  Then you get an A-.

What else is happening?  At the conference I just went to, I gave a presentation with a couple of coworkers who are also, luckily, friends.  In retrospect there are things I'd do differently of course, blah blah blah, but overall I think we did well.  The City Librarian came to our talk, and apparently has been talking it up to the managers as good stuff ever since he got back.  So we couldn't have sucked completely.

In only tangentially related (in a young adult books kind of way) news, are you so excited about the Hunger Games movie?  Of course you are. R and I are making it our Annual Moving Outing!  See you again at the movie pictures in 2013.

Baby monkey riding backwards on a pig

So I went to a conference for a few days, and when I came back, my kid was completely grown up. Sorry to go all doting parent on you, but let's face it, this blog isn't good for much these days so it's not like this is much of a trip downhill. 

Recent developments:

1. He knows the whole ABC song.
Okay, sure, it's not like he knows his letters.  But still.  Before I left last week he got lost somewhere around "pee-cue-are-ess . . ." and now he knows it cold.

2. He makes up stories.
A typical story:  "A monkey in a tree!  With Baby G!  And maybe D?  And S!  And maybe a lion?  And maybe a effant?  And a doggie. Woof! In a TREE." 

3. He has a lot of very specific entertainment requests.
Mostly songs he wants to hear.  But he wants to hear songs about particular animals, on demand, so if you can't think of one right away you just have to make something up. "Monkey song!  Lion song!" R had already figured out songs to match most of these requests (although his response to "monkey song!" was this, which I now have in my head at all times, waking and sleeping). 

But now Soren will request songs for whatever object he sees:  "Window song!  Stroller song!"  I'm getting better at thinking up rhymes on the spot, but it's a challenge.

It takes one to know one

The other day at work, I was riding the up escalator and I noticed a woman above me riding down, muttering to herself. 

When we got level with each other, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "YOU CRAZY."

Hey look it's a whole different year

Look at me, doing the new year's meme!  I like to keep things timely around here.  Tomorrow's post is going to be all about Hermain Cain.

I copied this from D, who helpfully combined a couple of these meme quiz list things and removed some of the dumber questions.  Thanks, D!

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

My mind is blanking here.  There must have been something. I know, I watched the first two seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation!  Good times.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I think I resolve every year to clean up my potty mouth.  It's going great!  (It's not going great.)

Here are my resolutions for this year:

• Stop using emoticons.  (So far, this has been a success, but it's a bit of a struggle.  I worry my emails sound too caustic. I'll read them over, then go back and try to rewrite them in the voice of a more pleasant person.  It's tough to be a natural jerkface.)
• Be nice.
• Be thoughtful.  (I think I resolve some variation of this one every year.  Also going great!)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Oh yes.  Last summer was a fertile time in my peer group.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Ach, D, why didn't you get rid of this question?  Would getting rid of the question be just as jinxy as answering no?

No, nobody close to me died.

5. What countries did you visit?
The countries of southeast Alabama, East Hampton, NY and Provo, UT.  And if you don't think those are countries all unto themselves, well, I don't know what to tell you.  Visit them and get back to me.

6. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

D said Baby G's birthday.  I guess Soren's first birthday was this year, too.  I should probably say that. 


7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Hmm.  Maybe no one thing, but for various reasons I am feeling fairly happy about my professional life and prospects lately. I'm going to present at a conference in a couple of months--something that is no big deal, but I haven't ever taken the time to do before.  And it looks like I'm going to be doing another cool job thing in the spring, which I will tell you about when it's a sure thing. 

Also, my child survived another year of my parenting. 

8. What was your biggest failure?

There are definitely a couple of long-distance friends that I have been letting down lately.  Horrible.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I got the flu one time.  Woe is me.
10. What was the best thing you bought?

Plane tickets to Hawaii.  We haven't used them yet but I feel confident they were an investment that's going to pay off.

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?

D applauded her friends without kids, and I would like to second that.  I love my friends with kids, obviously, and playdates are the best.  But we breeders are such a pain in the arse to fancyfree childless people.  I really, really appreciate that my friends are so patient with me, and hardly ever comment on the Soren-goo I usually have smeared on my right shoulder.
12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Lady Edith on Downton Abbey!  She is the worst.  You start to feel sorry for her and then all of a sudden--nope.  She reminds you that she sucks.


13. Where did most of your money go?

Let us not speak of depressing things.
14. What song will always remind you of 2012?

The Elmo theme song. 

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier
thinner or fatter? fatter
richer or poorer? poorer, although this is sort of a matter of perspective I suppose

16. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Lounging on sunny beaches drinking cocktails. 

17. What do you wish you'd done less of?

 

Being a complain-y jerkface.

18. How did you spend the holidays?

On my parents' farm.  I have never seen anybody more in love than my parents are with Soren.


19. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Yes! With Parks & Rec!  That show got so good and nobody told me.

20. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

If you wear lots of different tights people might not notice that you only own three skirts.

21. Whom did you miss?

My parents--I have new guilt about raising my kid so far away from them.  My East Coast friends. 

22. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I can do things.  Creative things, professional things.  Things.

23. What did you do on your birthday?

I don't remember.  Oh my. I'm sure it was lovely.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A housefire.

25. What kept you sane?

I don't think I stayed sane.  Let's add this to the list of goals for 2012.

Christmas card greed

Until yesterday, I had been a little bit sad because we had gotten very few holiday cards. I am assuming that this is because everyone sent them to our old house, and the post office, god love them, has stopped forwarding our mail.* (An assumption that is preferable to the idea that everyone just crossed us off their list this year.)  It's no big deal, of course; it just felt like the final "Fuck you" from our old house.  (Hopefully the final one.  That house better leave me alone if it doesn't want its ass burned to the ground.**)

But then yesterday, we got a nice little flurry of cards.  And when I got to work this morning, a lovely little bottle of Maker's Mark was waiting for me.  Could a person have better friends and coworkers?  No, a person could not.
I seriously am like, one of the top seventeen luckiest people around.  Sorry to go all Christmas sappy on you, but facts are facts and as a Scientist of the Library, it is my duty to report them.




*I'm not really complaining.  I know the the P.O. has its own problems.
**I wouldn't really burn that house down, federal government.  I understand that some ladies live there now and I'm sure they're very nice.