Until yesterday, I had been a little bit sad because we had gotten very few holiday cards. I am assuming that this is because everyone sent them to our old house, and the post office, god love them, has stopped forwarding our mail.* (An assumption that is preferable to the idea that everyone just crossed us off their list this year.) It's no big deal, of course; it just felt like the final "Fuck you" from our old house. (Hopefully the final one. That house better leave me alone if it doesn't want its ass burned to the ground.**)
But then yesterday, we got a nice little flurry of cards. And when I got to work this morning, a lovely little bottle of Maker's Mark was waiting for me. Could a person have better friends and coworkers? No, a person could not.
I seriously am like, one of the top seventeen luckiest people around. Sorry to go all Christmas sappy on you, but facts are facts and as a Scientist of the Library, it is my duty to report them.
*I'm not really complaining. I know the the P.O. has its own problems.
**I wouldn't really burn that house down, federal government. I understand that some ladies live there now and I'm sure they're very nice.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
A fun Christmas game for the whole family
Lately whenever I see those inspirational sayings on church signs, I have been finishing them with "in your butt." Sort of like the "in bed" thing with fortune cookies, you know. For example:
"A gift is not a gift until given [in your butt]."
"Mary wrapped the first Christmas gift . . . isn't it time you accepted it [in your butt]?"
"A diamond is a piece of coal that stuck to its job [in your butt]."
See?! It's magic. This is my holiday gift to you--one that will keep on giving. You're welcome.
"A gift is not a gift until given [in your butt]."
"Mary wrapped the first Christmas gift . . . isn't it time you accepted it [in your butt]?"
"A diamond is a piece of coal that stuck to its job [in your butt]."
See?! It's magic. This is my holiday gift to you--one that will keep on giving. You're welcome.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
spiked
I have been of two minds about the current holiday season.
Mind #1: Pretty stressed. Flights to the deep, deep South? Expensive. My relationship with my brother? Complicated. Plus, I feel like every year, I have at least one epic Christmas Fail. Last year, there were two; one involved gift giving to the in-laws, and the other was that I somehow did not send a Christmas card to my uncle, who is one of like three people who would actually give a shit about getting one.
These are the things that make my stomach hurt in the middle of the night.
On the other hand, there is
Mind #2. Which can't help but be delighted by how delighted Soren is about Christmas. For example, we got our tree almost a week ago, and he still hasn't gotten over the fact that there is a TREE inside our house. Also? It has lights on it! He points them out to me every morning. "Light! Light! Light!"
On the subject of the main in the red suit, he was less enthusiastic. I believe his exact words when placed on that lap, screaming as if in agony, were "MOMMY! MOMMY! PLEEEEEEEASE!!"
So, I am trying to be the normal human and let Mind #2 be the winner. It's mostly working, aided by spiked egg nog and a little bit of Vince Gauraldi.
Mind #1: Pretty stressed. Flights to the deep, deep South? Expensive. My relationship with my brother? Complicated. Plus, I feel like every year, I have at least one epic Christmas Fail. Last year, there were two; one involved gift giving to the in-laws, and the other was that I somehow did not send a Christmas card to my uncle, who is one of like three people who would actually give a shit about getting one.
These are the things that make my stomach hurt in the middle of the night.
On the other hand, there is
Mind #2. Which can't help but be delighted by how delighted Soren is about Christmas. For example, we got our tree almost a week ago, and he still hasn't gotten over the fact that there is a TREE inside our house. Also? It has lights on it! He points them out to me every morning. "Light! Light! Light!"
On the subject of the main in the red suit, he was less enthusiastic. I believe his exact words when placed on that lap, screaming as if in agony, were "MOMMY! MOMMY! PLEEEEEEEASE!!"
So, I am trying to be the normal human and let Mind #2 be the winner. It's mostly working, aided by spiked egg nog and a little bit of Vince Gauraldi.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
preemptive nostalgia
Soren is so magic right now. There are a lot of interesting people in the world, but I must tell you that I believe the vast majority of them are eighteen months old. Every day, new words! Dozens of them! New levels of understanding about the world! New loves and hatreds! New tantrums to throw! It is an exciting time.
I'm sort of nostalgic about the time we're having with him right now, even though it is still happening. I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of stages that I really enjoy but this one has brought home to me why every parent thinks their kid is a genius--all 1.5-year-olds are geniuses. (Well, most of them. Let's not name names.)
Things he loves: being outside, reading books ("Bookies!" I have no idea where that came from, I swear), Elmo, naming things, bathtime, Julia (his daycare provider), Daddy, and Mommy. (It's true, I am super popular. I think it's because of my good looks and sparkling wit.)
Things he does not love: getting dressed, coming inside, diaper changes, waiting for his breakfast to be ready (HE HASN'T EATEN IN LIKE 12 HOURS HE'S STARVING TO DEATH ABUSE ABUSE OMG), getting into his carseat, transitioning from book time to bath time, naps.
Apples are okay though.
I'm sort of nostalgic about the time we're having with him right now, even though it is still happening. I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of stages that I really enjoy but this one has brought home to me why every parent thinks their kid is a genius--all 1.5-year-olds are geniuses. (Well, most of them. Let's not name names.)
Things he loves: being outside, reading books ("Bookies!" I have no idea where that came from, I swear), Elmo, naming things, bathtime, Julia (his daycare provider), Daddy, and Mommy. (It's true, I am super popular. I think it's because of my good looks and sparkling wit.)
Things he does not love: getting dressed, coming inside, diaper changes, waiting for his breakfast to be ready (HE HASN'T EATEN IN LIKE 12 HOURS HE'S STARVING TO DEATH ABUSE ABUSE OMG), getting into his carseat, transitioning from book time to bath time, naps.
Apples are okay though.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Not part of the plan
Number one teen book to never ever read: Halo, by Alexandra Adornetto.*
"An angel is sent to earth on a mission. But falling in love is not part of the plan."
*Seriously? Adornetto? Oookay.
"An angel is sent to earth on a mission. But falling in love is not part of the plan."
*Seriously? Adornetto? Oookay.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Very exciting post about moving! A must read!!
This move has been a bit of a saga. As those of you who have been breathlessly following each twist in the story will recall, we were originally supposed to move at the end of the month. But then last week our hot water heater exploded and died. Time to move! We managed to reschedule the movers for this weekend--but alas, they scheduled us for the wrong day. So there was a lot of standing around amongst packed boxes and sleeping on air mattresses and whatnot.
Finally, by about 6:00 last night, all of our stuff was about three miles north of its previous location. Currently we are living amongst a bewilderment of boxes. But I got to watch the sun rise over the Cascades this morning while I unpacked my clothes, so we're cool.
As one of the movers was maneuvering our giant television (not a flat screen--perhaps you've seen one on a historical television series such as The Wonder Years?) out of the van, he asked, "You want this in the house?" I'm sure he figured that our real television was hidden somewhere, and we were just transporting this one to go into Mr. A's Man Cave.
They were also a little bit chagrined by how many records we (and by "we" I mean Mr. A) own. "Haha I sure am glad most people switched to cds hahaha!" I think what he really meant was, "CHRIST ALMIGHTY HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF DIGITAL DOWNLOADS OWWWWWCH."
Have you ever hired movers, though? Did you know that they are insanely cheap? They moved all of our stuff--and there was a ton of it, about 80% garbage--for like $430. That's barely more than a U-Haul, and it took three hours.
Things I Have Learned in My Adult Life:
1. Hire movers.
2. Don't pick at it.
Aaaaaaaaaand that's about it.
Finally, by about 6:00 last night, all of our stuff was about three miles north of its previous location. Currently we are living amongst a bewilderment of boxes. But I got to watch the sun rise over the Cascades this morning while I unpacked my clothes, so we're cool.
As one of the movers was maneuvering our giant television (not a flat screen--perhaps you've seen one on a historical television series such as The Wonder Years?) out of the van, he asked, "You want this in the house?" I'm sure he figured that our real television was hidden somewhere, and we were just transporting this one to go into Mr. A's Man Cave.
They were also a little bit chagrined by how many records we (and by "we" I mean Mr. A) own. "Haha I sure am glad most people switched to cds hahaha!" I think what he really meant was, "CHRIST ALMIGHTY HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF DIGITAL DOWNLOADS OWWWWWCH."
Have you ever hired movers, though? Did you know that they are insanely cheap? They moved all of our stuff--and there was a ton of it, about 80% garbage--for like $430. That's barely more than a U-Haul, and it took three hours.
Things I Have Learned in My Adult Life:
1. Hire movers.
2. Don't pick at it.
Aaaaaaaaaand that's about it.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
sock sack
I have nothing bad to say about the past week (week!!1!!omg) weather-wise. It has been 100% gorgeous at all times. We went to the woods for the long holiday weekend, and I remembered that part of what makes living here tolerable is going into the woods a lot. I like the trees and the moss and the ferns. Watching the rain dribble down into the city sewers is just depressing, but in the forest even the rain is okay. You sort of get the point of it.
So, at the end of this month we are moving. Into a house with eleven (!!!) closets. You guys. There is a broom closet, a coat closet, a linen closet. There are giant huge closets everywhere. I understand that being excited about closets is about as bougie as it gets, but I don't care. I'm sick of keeping my socks in a sack.
So, at the end of this month we are moving. Into a house with eleven (!!!) closets. You guys. There is a broom closet, a coat closet, a linen closet. There are giant huge closets everywhere. I understand that being excited about closets is about as bougie as it gets, but I don't care. I'm sick of keeping my socks in a sack.
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