Lately whenever I see those inspirational sayings on church signs, I have been finishing them with "in your butt." Sort of like the "in bed" thing with fortune cookies, you know. For example:
"A gift is not a gift until given [in your butt]."
"Mary wrapped the first Christmas gift . . . isn't it time you accepted it [in your butt]?"
"A diamond is a piece of coal that stuck to its job [in your butt]."
See?! It's magic. This is my holiday gift to you--one that will keep on giving. You're welcome.