Pep talk to self

I don't know if you have noticed, mes petites amies, but shit is getting scary out there--not least at the library. We're getting busier and busier, and tense situations do arise. People are effing edgy and I don' t blame them.

Just today I told a woman (very nicely and apologetically, the way I always do) that the seating in the teen area is just for the teens. She accepted this very sweetly, thanked me, and then suddenly started screaming something about being stalked and pretty much ran away.

I'm lucky that I work in a building where we have security guards on duty the whole time we're open. If stuff really starts to go down I don't have to kick people out of the building myself, or get in the middle of a fight (not that fights are common), or even take much guff, which is a huge, huge blessing. And every single person I work with on a daily basis is a shining gem of a human being, so there's never a doubt in my mind that I could count on them in a moment of crisis.

I've been letting dumb things about my job get me down, but I'm going to really, really, REALLY try not to do that any more. Because I have a job--a good job, with benefits and everything. I should enjoy all the parts of it that can be enjoyed and grin and bear the rest.

Besides, without being too "I Contain Multitudes" about it, my job is actually kind of important right now. Coming to the library is serious beeswax if it's the only place you can access a computer to type your resume, or search for jobs, or write a cover letter. And I can help with that! Which is cool.

Also (cue violins) I am in a position to make people's days a little better by treating them decently. It's hard sometimes. I do have a temper, and sometimes when people roll their eyes at me, or insinuate that my outfit is an indicator of my inner cowardliness, I kind of want to give them a good solid kick to the shins.

But if not kicking the citizens of Seattle in the shins is what I can do to help us get through this current crisis, I'm happy to oblige. I'm a giver that way.

Vacation slideshow!

I know, I know--I promised vacation photos and then failed to produce vacation photos. The reason for this is because I am a LIAR.

Also because I don't really like the uploady mechanism in Blogger. Excuses, excuses.

Anyway, here we are on our first day, boggling at the blueness of the sea and the warmness of the air. Coming from Seattle, I felt like I had walked into an alternate dimension.

Here are some Very Important Dudes enjoying cigars.

Pretty water. There was really no one around--at every restaurant we went to, we were the only table. The cruise ships come in a few times a week and I guess it's crowded then, but teh crowds are easy to avoid. Otherwise, it's completely empty except for one patch of beach filled with partying Italians.


Interesting signage.

The greatest bar of all time.

Sunset.

DIY bar.
The view from our house.


A kitten who lived on our doorstep the last day or two we were there. We fed her (him?) the strange gelatinous cream we had bought for our coffee and named him Peaches McScreeches/Steve Perry*. (Later the owners of our house told us her real name was Olive Oil, but whatevs.)

Crazy rocks on the east side of the island.

Sad faces on our last day.


The coolest part of the trip was the snorkeling, which you could do by stepping off the beach and into the water--that's how close the coral reef is. There was every rainbow color of fish you can imagine, and they just swam right up and stared at you. At one point I was surrounded by a school of flat turquoise fish the size of dinner plates.


Here are a couple of pictures that our friend P took with his fancy schmancy underwater camera:

Cool, right?

Anyway, it was super awesome and you should probably go to there.

*There was a cd player and an odd assortment of cds in our cabin. We listened to "Don't Stop Believin'" every morning as sort of a battle cry.

At the reference desk

A few days ago, an older man approached the desk with a long piece of paper--probably a toothpick or straw wrapper--dangling from his lower lip. He handed me a business card for a restaurant.

Man: WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THIS RESTAURANT?

Me (brightly) : I'm not sure what you're asking. I'd be happy to look up reviews of that restaurant if you like!

Long pause.

Man: I WENT TO COLLEGE.


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The Amazing Vacation of Laziness was indeed amazing, and already seems like a distant, distant dream. I'll post a couple of pictures of it tomorrow, should you happen to care.

Speckled trout

This time next week, I will be on The Amazing Vacation of Laziness. I can't even explain how excited about it I am.

The other day I was talking to a coworker who had just gotten back from Hawaii,and she was full of advice for traveling to warm climates. "Hey, you know what you should do before you go?" she said to me. "You should go to the tanning bed. What you really need is a nice base tan."

I'm pretty sure I managed not to laugh in her face. But maybe not completely.

Because here is the thing about people who tan. Deep down inside, none of them can believe that there is a human on this planet who can't do it. It's SO EASY, they think! You just go outside and magically become darker! It's like God's hypercolor!

I can tell these people truly believe that if I just tried harder and weren't such a wuss about it, I could do it too. But allow me to share a science fact with you, oh tanners: I CAN'T TAN.

But I can do other stuff. Here's what I can do: I can get a sunburn in February. I can shed my entire outer layer of skin like a snake. I can have darker freckles. But the skin inbetween the freckles is never, ever going to tan. So please do not speak to me of base tans and SPF 8 and the like. It's SPF 1,000,000 for me, and a big ridiculous hat. I know I look like a speckled trout in a bathing suit, but trust me when I say there is nothing I can do about it.

Sometimes gross, usually delicious

Accomplishment of the week: We're getting free cable now. I called the cable company and asked them to cancel our subscription. The operator asked why, and I told her the truth: We can't afford it. After that it was like breaking up with someone who doesn't want to be broken up with: "What if we give you a deep discount on your internet service?" "How about we give you digital cable for the same price as regular cable?" "What if we come over and wash your car?"

When I said no to all of that, she said, "What if we give you the cable free for the next six months?" And so the cycle continues. Jon Stewart can rest assurred that I will watch him not online but as God intended, with lots of commercial breaks at 8 p.m. Pacific Time (since we can't stay awake for the original airing).

Remember last weekend? I know, it was a really long time ago, but I did some cool stuff back then. I went snowshoeing, for example, and it was really sunny and warm. I was out on the snow in nothing but a long-sleeved t-shirt. A long-sleeved t-shirt, I say! It was like a tropical vacation. Climate change is fun after all!

Then on Sunday Mr. A. and I finally used the membership to the art museum that my mom got us for Christmas. Right now they have a display of Edward Hopper's paintings of women (mostly women in restaurants in awesome hats) that is pretty cool. It's interesting to think about that first generation of ladies for whom ladies' night was a possibility. I'm glad I don't live during the time of constant chaperoning by the mens. What a drag.

After the art museum, we went to a wine tasting in Pike Place Market that happened to be going on as we walked by. I like wine, but sometimes at wine tastings I feel like I'm taking a test I'm bound to fail. In public. The wine guy zeroed in on me right away and demanded that I describe exactly which flavors were in each wine. He had this chart with all the possible flavors on it and I studied it as best I could. Eventually I started asking Mr. A. for the answers when Wine Guy's back was turned. "What did you get for the Pinot Grigio? Lawn cuttings? Banana?!?"

I guess I have a really unsophisticated palate, but to me wine mostly tastes like wine. Sometimes gross, usually delicious, always more or less like fermented grapes.

Hi. So, I just wrote a whole post in which I freaked out about climate change being irreversible, but then I decided to spare you that. That's not what you come here for, am I right? You come here for petty complaints about the day to day weather of Seattle! And I am happy to provide.

Actually, we've had a really nice week, weather-wise, though today is drizzly. Every year we get a string of really nice days in February--sunny, highs in the mid- or upper-50's--and something awakens in your chest and you start to think, maybe I do have a reason to live! Maybe spring will really be here soon!

It won't.

Actually, I had a complete meltdown a few days ago that involved a lot crying. I think there were a few forces at work, including lack of sunlight, and the fact that I'd had a cold, and so I hadn't worked out for a few days. I suspect that exercise might be the only thing keeping me from frequent crying jags. But that afternoon Mr. Awesome brought me home a bag of these little mini-doughnuts that they sell in Pike Place Market--still hot!--and luckily I don't have a lot of problems that mini-doughnuts can't solve.

Speaking of doughnuts, I had a couple of "Total Health Consultations" at the gym--these come free with your membership at the Y and mostly involve the trainer showing you how the machines work, how much weight you should be lifting, and creating your basic fitness routine. They differ from "Personal Training" in that Personal Training costs money, and also I think it might involve more yelling.

Anyway, my Health Consultator asked me what my goals were, whether I was worried about bulking up, stuff like that. I said I wanted to bulk up as much as possible--which for wimpy me might not be much, but I'll take what I can get. I want to intimidate the teens (and frankly, everyone I meet) with my amazing bulk.



Don't worry, though; I won't beat you up unless you really piss me off.

Not much

Last weekend we finished up the big series of events that I had been planning and marketing and hosting and living and breathing. They all went really well and lots of people came, and I'm very, very glad they're over for now. This week, not much happening. Well, I bought a bikini.

Next month, we're spending a week in Roatan with some friends, and I spend a large percentage of my time thinking about it. Roatan is a little island off the coast of Honduras, and while there I plan to do NOTHING. Well, okay, maybe I'll rent a bike one day but mostly my plan is to sit around with a book in my hand, putting different parts of myself in this water:


I used to scorn people who took tropical vacations and did nothing but lie around on beaches, but I'm wiser now.