Baby librarians

I just spoke to a group of library school students, who were here at the library on a field trip. They were really interested in what I had to say because they don't often get the chance to talk to actual librarians.

I felt so sorry for them. They all looked so beat down and miserable, it made me remember how much I hated library school. Whatever sucks about being a librarian, it doesn't suck nearly as much as being in library school.

For one thing, most of what they teach you in library school is patently stupid. For example, book talking. Book talking is just what it sounds like: Talking to people (in this case, teenaged people) about books in an effort to convince them to read those books. It's true that this is something we teen librarians do all the time--in the library, at schools, wherever. The general gist of it usually is: "Look at this awesome book! And this one! And this one!"

But you know what we don't do? We don't put on a little one-person play about the book, involving costumes and/or sound effects. And do you know why we don't do that? Because any teenager worth his salt would EAT YOU ALIVE if you did that. You might as well walk into a classroom and say, "Hello kids, I am a giant asshat! Please begin to snicker at me now!"

And yet, the costume idea is the sort of thing they are just nuts about in library school. "So, I really liked the way you discussed this medieval fantasy about a king," the library school teacher will say, "but I think it really would have been better if you had been wearing a crown. And holding a scepter. And maybe if you had called for your fiddlers three!"

The soul-crushing thing is that these people, the teachers, they usually mean well. I don't think they actually have a vendetta against upcoming librarians or are trying to drive them out of the profession or anything. But they don't tend to visit actual libraries very often, and I'm convinced they've never met any teenagers.