Getting Soren and myself out the door in the morning with clothes on and noses wiped has become a Sisyphean task. If you'd like a little window into my world, try doing your entire morning routine while carrying around a 20 lb. bag of flour. When you come to a task you just can't perform with the flour in your arms, no problem, just put it down! But at the same moment, play a recording of fingernails on a chalkboard. Turn the volume all the way up. Proceed with your task until you can't stand the noise anymore. Pick up your bag of flour.
This is an imperfect demonstration of how my mornings actually go because your bag of flour will not, it is to be hoped,* attempt to grab and swallow your mascara wand while it (the flour) balances on your left hip as you apply your eye makeup with one hand. (If it does, you'll probably want to go ahead and take it back to the QFC because that is the sign of either a very serious weevil problem or, only slightly less likely, haunted flour.)
*Does anyone else remember Claudia Kishi's annoying, know-it-all older sister, who once informed Kristi that "hopefully" is the most widely misused word in the English language? Don't say The Babysitter's Club never taught me anything.
2 comments:
Parenting - it's not just a job, it's and adventure! An adventure that will wear your ass out.
Oh yes, I remember this so well. The getting out the door part was hard, and then I always had to pack about 1,000 things in anticipation of the myriad things that could go horribly wrong, so I'd be holding the 20-pound bag of flour, carrying a backpack on my back, and holding a collapsed stroller on a strap on my shoulder. I really think I am a hunchback now as a result.
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