Remember the noble Plan? Not going so well. Mostly this is because I am a big fat crabby complainer, but there are a few external reasons as well.
1. The weather.
Remember when I made that list of Most Suck Months, and I put March as #3? What a fool I was. March sucks THE MOST, by far. Sure, it stays light a little longer, but who can tell when it's pouring down rain? This month has been exactly like January, only windier. March can bite me. Screw you, March.
2. The patrons.
I get it, Public. This large, terrifyingly modern library is hard to navigate! The elevators take a long time! There's no bathroom on this floor! The escalator has weird art in it that you don't like!
But here is a tip for you: I did not design this library. Nobody asked for my opinion. If they had I would have put a bathroom on this floor, if not for your convenience then certainly for mine. So walk off in a huff if you must, but know that I TOO AM HOLDING MY PEE. And I hold it every day, so suck it.
Also, I KNOW that isn't a service dog. But at least you're not trying to pass off a "service rat," so I guess I should count my blessings.
3. Actually, that's about it.
I've been trying to come up with a number 3, but the only other stuff that is making me act like an asshole is wedding stuff, and who wants to hear about the rental price of napkins? Nobody, that's who.
On the bright side:
1. I keep getting emails from Obama with the subject line: "Dinner Invitation."
He's so into me!!! I should probably get a new outfit and maybe some eyeshadow. Wheee!
2. I finally found some shoes that seem comfy enough to walk in all day in Europe, yet also compatable with sundresses. They are somewhat ugly, yes, but they have patented negative heel technology, designed by a Danish yogi and guaranteed to improve your posture AND give you totally toned legs in 20 minutes or your money back!!!
3. I think this whole getting married thing is really a pretty good idea. I'm feeling good about it.
So there you have it, more positives than negatives. A little listing always brings me round.